Tamara (tamartini) wrote,

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I've got a thinkin probleeemm

So, today I have to admit has been one of my blonder days.... I sat through an oxygen movie.... yes an movie on the oxygen network, and missed class.... It was probably the most terrible thing I've ever seen in my life, but I missed class anyway. And then, right after the movie was done, I thought to myself oh crap, I'm going to miss my next class if i dont leave in just a few minutes, so I head out of my dorm at 2:20, thinking i have class at 2:30.... but noooo I dont have class till 3:30... so now, here I am with an extra hour on my hands... I didnt want to go back to class, so i thouhgt i might as well come to the library and kill some time. I know i've been needing to update, but I've been waiting to finish up my roll of film from halloween and have a badass entry about that... but the way things are looking it would take a little bit of time for that to happen. You know it really sucks... my social life has FINALLY started to pick up, but when it does, I dont have a car... So i think life offically hates me. I just had major de ja vu again... thats been happening alot... I wish had more to say, but anything i would say wouldnt come out to clear. I've done alot of thinkig lately... made alot of realizations about people, and become slightly resentful. I know its not the healthiest of things, but deep down, i think i'm just a pessimistic person. Have you noticed that when ever someone is told to be strong, it is usually during a period of loneliness? Someone is percieved as strong for getting through a lonely or sad time... so if it happens one time its just like hey, you're a strong person, i know you can get through this, because it happens to you all the time, so you should be used to it. Even though I know thats not really the case that they ment, but, if you really look at it, thats what it boils down to.... See what happens when i watch oxygen and get my time fucked up? I become bitchy... I really wish i was home for the christmas break. There is so much about that Time i love... The smell of the house, how it feels outside, Sarah and i chillin on the 'bridge' by her house... I'm so glad shes comin home. Its like somethings been missing. I've been having whack ass dreams again. Like really really vivid ones... I have a vivid imagination to begin with, so its only magnified when i go to sleep... I really need to start writing them down again and send them over to phil, my magical therapist only he doesnt know hes my magical therapist.. but now you know, but i'll only pay you in love, which i hope is enough! Alright, i think im gonna bust a power nap before history which is 30 minutes away... go teaching theater lobbys.... man i rambled on a bit on this one...
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